戰爭與和平How to talk to children about the invasion of Ukraine, and why those conversations are important
刊出日期 2022.04.04
As the world navigates challenges and crises, we need to have a blueprint for how to have open and honest discussions with our kids so they can grow up as informed and thoughtful world citizens. Here we provide some ideas for engaging in conversations about the Ukraine invasion with kids, and how to tailor them based on age and maturity levels.
3 reasons to talk to kids about the war in Ukraine
1. To help children process difficult emotions that may arise.
Although it might seem like a good idea to avoid an in-depth discussion to thwart increased anxiety or alarm, evidence suggests that having a supportive discussion about a stressful event can actually decrease distress. It’s best to “name it to tame it.” Children in families that are more expressive perceive less threat related to a stressor. Having these conversations provides you with the opportunity to help your child make sense of how they might be feeling and to provide reassurance.
2. To combat misinformation.
In this age of ubiquitous access to news and media, children and teens have likely already been exposed to some kind of information — pictures, video clips or news — about the invasion of Ukraine. Unfortunately, there has been a surge of misinformation and purposeful disinformation shared on social media apps routinely used by youth, such as TikTok and Snapchat. This makes it critical for parents and educators to keep children informed of the Ukraine invasion based on reliable information from reputable sources, and to provide opportunities for children to ask questions.
3. To model and encourage compassionate views towards others.
Talking to children about the war in Ukraine can model a compassionate view towards fellow humans, regardless of distance or circumstance. Taking the time to talk with children about world events is an opportunity to engage in perspective-taking and to emphasize the importance of understanding the emotions, and contexts of others in a developmentally appropriate way. Asking an adolescent a question such as "what might someone else in this situation be feeling right now?" can support the growth of an empathic view of other’s lives.
Conversations with children under the age of five
Children of different ages and maturity will have different levels of understanding and capacity for processing the information unfolding in Ukraine.
Children under the age of five may have a very limited understanding of the conflict in Ukraine. If your young child asks you a question about what is happening, you can provide them with simple information they can relate to. Avoid providing more detail than requested.
For example, you could say "one country is not being very nice to another country and it is making people feel upset." Bringing up the conversation with your child allows you to talk about a shared plan and strategies that can help if they are feeling upset about it.
For children of all ages, we also recommend being mindful of exposure to news and media, especially violent or destructive content. This is particularly paramount for young children who have a more limited ability to understand what is happening. It is also important to minimize what young children overhear of adult conversations.
Conversations with school-aged children and adolescents
First, make sure that you are feeling calm and present enough to have the discussion. If you are feeling upset, tired or distressed, it is best to give yourself some time and space before initiating the conversation. It is also best to have the discussion when there are limited distractions and when you can devote sufficient time to it.
Start by asking your child what they have heard or what they might know about the conflict in Ukraine. Next, validate and normalize how they are feeling. If they say it’s distressing for them, you can say: “It can be scary to think about a war; most kids and adults feel scared too.” If your child does not know very much or does not seem to be very disconcerted about what is happening, you can keep the discussion brief.
Regardless of whether they are distressed or not, you can share some factual and developmentally appropriate information. For example, you might look at a map of the world together and share where the conflict is occurring. You can share some basic information about what is happening and why, and where and how they can gather reliable information.
Most importantly, children need reassurance that adults will do everything they can to keep them safe. If needed, you can make a plan to identify distractions or activities to focus on. You could also offer your support or assistance to a Ukrainian friend or neighbour who may be particularly worried or struggling.
Ultimately, by having these conversations, you show your child that you are willing and open to having discussions, even when times are tough. This can help build a lasting foundation to talk about difficult topics.
Our children are not the first generation of children to grow up with wars and distressing world events. What is new is how this generation of young people are accessing and consuming news and world events. It is important for children to be adequately informed and reassured by the adults they trust, and to be provided with opportunities to make sense of how they might be feeling as distressing world events unfold.
＊This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
About The Conversation
The Conversation was founded in Melbourne, Australia in 2011. It is a unique collaboration between academics and journalists that in a decade has become the world’s leading publisher of research-based news and analysis.
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作者
加拿大卡加利大學心理學博士後研究員。卡加利大學心理學系臨床心理學家和博士後研究員，主要研究為探究對兒童早期社會情緒發展造成影響的母體、家庭和環境因素，更聚焦母親童年逆境及生產前後壓力對兒童早期心理健康和就學準備度的影響。也熱衷與社區組織合作。Dr. Nicole Racine is a clinical psychologist and Assistant Professor in the School of Psychology at the University of Ottawa, Canada. Dr. Racine received her PhD in Clinical-Developmental Psychology at York University and completed a residency in Clinical and Pediatric Child Psychology at the Alberta Children’s Hospital. She completed a post-doctoral fellowship at the University of Calgary and the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute. Her research program examines the impact of maternal and childhood adversity on mental health and wellbeing, risk and resilience processes, and what prevention and intervention strategies break cycles of risk across generations.作者
加拿大卡加利大學臨床心理學博士生 卡加利大學心理學榮譽學士學位、舞蹈學士學位及臨床心理學碩士，目前正在攻讀該校心理學系的臨床心理學博士學位。 Camille Mori has completed a combined B.A. (honours) psychology degree and B.A. dance degree at the University of Calgary. She is currently completing a PhD in clinical psychology within the Department of Psychology at the University of Calgary.作者
任職於加拿大卡加利大學亞伯達兒童醫院研究所的奧爾科（Owerko）中心，是兒童發展決定因素實驗室的加拿大研究講座教授及助理教授。加拿大卡加利大學亞伯達兒童醫院研究所的臨床心理學家及助理教授，亦為加拿大研究講座教授，研究領域為兒童發展決定因素，探究早期經驗如何幫助或阻礙兒童早期學習及社會環境，曾獲嬰兒心理衛生協會的青年學者獎及基拉姆新興研究領袖獎，研究廣為《紐約時報》、《時代雜誌》、《衛報》、《BBC》、加拿大公共電視及《環球郵報》報導。Dr. Sheri Madigan is a Clinical Psychologist, Professor and Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development at the University of Calgary and the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute. Her research is primarily focused on understanding how early experiences can help and/or hinder children’s early learning and social environments. She has published over 175 peer-reviewed articles describing innovative methods and approaches to understanding determinants of child development. In 2021, she was inducted into the Royal Society of Canada’s College of New Scholars, Artists, and Scientists. She is the recipient of the World Association for Infant Mental Health Early Career Award, as well as the Killam Emerging Research Leader award. Her work has been widely covered in the media, including The New York Times, TIME, The Guardian, BBC, CBC, and The Globe and Mail, and the Nature of Things. Dr. Madigan’s research is supported by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, Canadian Institutes of Health Research, and the Canada Research Chairs program.
